Compassion is one of the most important but poorly understood concepts in terms of our human relationships.
Some people equate the word ‘compassion’ with kindness. Others equate being compassionate with being ‘soft’ or as being ‘weak’.
A standard definition of compassion involves two-parts: “Sensitivity to the causes of suffering in oneself and others” (Part A – empathy), combined with the commitment to try to alleviate and prevent it” (Part B – compassion.
For thousands of years caring for and about others has been regarded as the most powerful way to help us cope with the ups and downs of life, our troubled relationships and to promote well-being within us and between us. Connection, kindness and caring are powerful evolutionary processes because they are natural – they are biological – it is what we need to properly function as a human being.
This fundamental approach of caring for self and others not only applies for our in-group, or those we feel are worthy, but is practical for every sector of society including our families, our school community, organizational groups and governments.
We are currently witnessing pandemic proportions of our society struggling with anxiety, addictions, loneliness, depression, homelessness, starvation, inequality and so on. Many of us have turned a blind eye to the suffering of our fellow human beings – so many of us are not satisfying our basic human needs effectively.
What would it take for us to be more compassionate to our fellow human beings?
At this fundamental level, compassion can be seen as an expression of our basic faculty of caring. We all want to be cared about… so that should be extended out towards others also. It is our natural capacity to care for our own welfare that serves as the basis for our ability to feel empathy for others. To feel such empathy, we must not only wish to be rid of our own pain and suffering, but also be able to feel a sense of connection or identification with others.
These two i.e. a person’s sensitivity to their own pain and suffering, and that same person’s sense of connection with others, constitute what can be called the root of loving, empathic concern. It is this empathic concern, whereby we find others’ suffering to be unbearable, that engenders genuine compassion for our object of concern.
Firstly, compassion is a caring motivation that requires immense courage and an important set of inter-related motivations and skills. Compassion is followed by what is described as the warm glow – it is a win-win scenario where the reward system in the helper and the receiver is activated.
Compassion is a natural response to pain and suffering:
- We recognize the suffering in others and self
- We care – there is benevolence – a feeling
- There is a heart-felt wish that they be free of suffering
- If we can do something we are moved to help
Research shows the benefits of practicing compassion are quite extraordinary for personal wellbeing, recovering from trauma, joining us with others and opening the heart.
The science shows that with connection, care and compassion, we become less lonely, less depressed, less anxious, become more connected, more compassionate and become healthier!
Compassion is our superpower!
